FARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever pulled someone's finger and heard a weird noise come out of his or her posterior?


Ever sat in a tub of water and seen bubbles come out of your bum?


This strange noise and vibrating sensation that came from your butt is most likely caused by a fart.





A fart is a combination of gases (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide) that travels from a person's stomach to their anus. When a person swallows too much air or eats foods that the human digestive system cannot digest easily gas becomes trapped in his/her stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the anus.The gas that makes your farts stink is the hydrogen sulfide gas. This gas contains sulfur which causes farts to have a smelly odor. The more sulfur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs.


A scientific name for a fart is flatus or flatulence.The word fart is just one of many different terms used to describe the release of gasses from the human body. Other popular names for farts or farting include: gassers, stinkers, air biscuits, bombers, barking spiders, rotten eggs, and wet ones. You can pass gas, break wind, blast, beef, poof, rip one, let one fly, step on a duck, and cut the cheese.


Farts can be stinky, wet, loud, or silent but deadly. Pee-eeew!!!


I came up with a classification of various types of farts! Read on my fellow fartners!

The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Bullet Fart - Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.

The Silent fart - This type hardly makes any kind of noise. If you listen intently you will hear an almost audible sound like a gentle summer breeze through a cave .Very useful in crowded and quiet places. e.g. packed elevators , classrooms etc.

The Elaborated Fart - This is a grandfather special, like Duracell, goes on ... and on ... and on and then when you are sure you've heard enough, there comes the loud bang!!!... oh, P.S. its a smelly one!!!!

The Held-For-Too-Long Fart - This happens when you are in a situation when you can't really fart and you have to. The mind loses control over the muscles(after 2 hours of holding back) which by now are numb and then ....they all stare!!!

The Ripper - Once this is out..You have to feel if ur pants are still in one piece....

The Supersonic Fart - When the area inside the stomach is subjected to compression, the phenomenon causes air (??) to flow through the nozzle generating shock waves. This generally happens when one is in major trouble. It is very hazardous....

The Speed Breaker - The velocity of the fart is greatly reduced due to various biological speed breakers and it comes out in bits and pieces !!! ~~> you think its done n whoooaa there comes more *pih*....*poh*....... *poo* .......(oh no not yet) ........*poooo* (THE END!!)

The Bubbly fart - This is definitely one of the most intriguiging of all farts! the sound it produces is enchanting beyond belief yet no one knows why it is so pleasing. The phonetics of this fart involves a bubbling sound at a very low frequency. This creates a rippling effect in your pants. For the non- fart lovers it might be a very disturbing experience to be in close proximity to a person letting out this beauty.....



Now that we've analyzed what we merely consider a small amount of gas, let me tell you that I'm not particularly this gross... I just find farts funny....


Until my next post, **FFFRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH**





"Let the fartnership continue!!!!!!"