Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Macha!!! Namma Chennai da!!!!

As human beings, we always feel the need to identify ourselves with something or someone.. Something that makes us feel unique, loved, cared for.. Something that we like, something that reminds us of ourselves, something that is YOU.

For me, nothing can be as close to my heart as my city.. Chennai.. Madras.. Good old Madras!!! Screw the "madrasi" label you get whenever you visit those distant family members in the north! Chennai is home to me macha!!! And home sweet home it is.

I cannot find a place that is more diverse and accepting than Chennai. Period. The land of paradoxes! On the same 'theru' (street, for all you northie bums ;) ), you will find maamis laying pulli-vecha kolams and akkas wearing low-waist jeans with their tak-tak chappals, you will find the complete rock music fan and the best carnatic vocalist, you will find the local temple's pujari riding a black Pulsar, you will find Leo filter kaapi drinking atthans and teens that treat CCD as their second home, you will find well-oiled and parted hair and mohawks and you will find the heart of this city's existence, it's openness.

Yes, it is hot. Yes, we have mosquitoes the size of mammoths. Yes, there is garbage strewn on the streets and yes, we do have a huge-ass sewer running through most of the city!!! So what?! I'll tell you one thing, we Chennai-ites NEED that filth to live!!! Imagine living in Chennai and NOT being able to see a pile of garbage!!! That's absurd!! But, honestly, amidst all this chaos, madness, pollution and randomness, we Chennai-ites or Madrasis will find a solace that we will never find ANYWHERE else, I can vouch for that.

Although the traffic in the other cities is much more than here, there is so much orderly chaos in Chennai that I feel out of place when I travel anywhere else in the country! I need to have that grouchy bus conductor handing out the tickets and grumbling for change, those annoyingly obnoxious auto kaarars fleecing me of all the money I have, that two-wheeler guy zipping past and scaring the living shit out of me, the lorry drivers with their incessant honking, the wind blowing past my face in the share auto. I need this city's traffic!!!! Namma Chennai!!! Chanceless macha!!!
Wanna see the people from all walks to life gather at one place in Chennai? Welcome to the Beach. Beaches, rather. The Marina.. Second longest coastline in the world and the Besant Nagar beach. Contrasting and similar in their own ways. Contrasting because Bessie is more commercialized and The Marina is more laid-back but similar beacuse they are the home to thousands of people everyday.. Kids who are excited just to have the water wet their feet, joggers with their iPods plugged into their ears, guys trying to show off by shooting balloons with air rifles, people riding horses, sundal, bajji, cotton candy and kwality walls ice cream, random couples making out, people playing adapted versions of football, cricket and rugby, kite flyers, soothsayers, and a whole lot of other people.. Diversity da!!!
College is another completely different issue. Dirty pair of jeans, random shirt and bathroom chappals - Standard attire. Loyola College, aka Laila Callege. The amount of 'wannabe' people you will meet here is shocking. Multiple piercings, lurid tees, figure hugging shirts and jeans that could accommodate two people with "EMINEM" and "50 CENT" embroidered across their thighs. Chennai is definitely not the fashion capital but then I realized, if these people weren't there, who would we laugh at?! Sadly over-dressed chicks and amazingly retarded men who drool over them, pakka kollywood style ya! That reminds me, Kollywood!!!!

If you have never watched a Rajinikanth movie in your life, go kill yourself. The man is a legend! Even if it isn't for his acting, he is for his exaggeration! Chennai is the headquarters for the remake-industry. They don't make remakes of too many other movies.. They make remakes of their OWN movies!!! The story of a typical Tamil movie : Hero introduction-Heroine Introduction-Hero meets Heroine in, say, a train-They fall in love-Villain Introduction-Villain turns out to be Heroine's brother or father-Tries to stop them-Fails-Hero and Heroine live happily ever after. Throw in seven songs, 35 fight sequences and 3 comedy scenes and you have a movie!!! Our Captain Vijayakanth takes things to another level. Another level of comic relief, that is. Anngh!!! (Vijayakanth Style!) *Insert Punch Dialogue here* Overkill!

Food in Chennai can be a foodie's dream come true or his worst nightmare.. depends on where he eats. You name it, you got it! Chennai has everything right from pansy gourmet restaurants, flashy pubs, coffee bars, sheesha houses, classy disques and buffet dinners right down to tea-kada vadas, Kaiyendhi Bhavans, Faaast Food joints, Potti-kada dum and TASMAC bars! Food to fit any price range!! Anywhere you go, you will find "Chineese food", "Bombay or Calcuta Chaats", "Pitzas and Bugers" and "Cool Drinks". Honestly, if these people didn't exist, we'd die! They are the people that keep us Chennai-ites running! Despite all that garbage in our system, we will still wake up, day after day and continue living our Chennai lives!

Whatever you say, we will not change, we cannot change. We will live our sad lives in our sad city, but we will still be happy 'cause we are like that only ya.. So all you machas and machis, maamus and mapleys, yakkoes and thangachies, dudebhais and dudegals.. Chennai rocks!!!!! :D

P.S : No offence was meant to any other city. I'm trying to be diplomatic at 12.51 AM. Shit!